I'm really sorry to hear that you've been through such painful experiences. It's completely understandable that you're feeling frustrated, confused, and losing hope. But please remember that your past relationships do not define your worth or your ability to receive love in the future.

First and foremost, it's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and experiences. They can provide you with tools to cope with your feelings of depression and trauma.

It's also crucial to reflect on the patterns in your past relationships. Are there red flags or warning signs that you might have overlooked? By recognizing these patterns, you can learn from past mistakes and make healthier choices in future relationships.

When you're ready to open yourself up to love again, take things slow and focus on building a strong foundation of trust and communication with your partner. Remember that it's okay to set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly in a relationship.

Lastly, don't lose hope in yourself. You are deserving of love and respect just like anyone else. Stay open to the possibility of finding a loving and supportive partner who values you for who you are. Keep working on healing and growing, and remember that you deserve to be truly happy in a loving relationship.